After writing yesterday’s post I needed a coffee. One that wasn’t bitter. So I Googled and came to a site called The Dark Caffe. I entered in high spirits and soon had to confess my geek skills plunge at times when I most need them. At first glance I was overjoyed to see a share symbol. I couldn’t feed it from Dark Caffe’s blog to mine even though their site is WordPress driven. I retraced my steps and saw I could email it and I did this too. Thrilled to get the link and one I couldn’t make active. By this time I felt like I was operating from inside a sack of ropes. Hours and hours of experimenting followed. I told myself firmly that it’s important for me to operate systems in the computer on my own with confidence. At 5 a.m. I used my best efforts to climb into bed having been frightened by the sight of myself in the bathroom mirror; an older and not really wiser vision. Overhead lighting and exhaustion turn facial features into puddings.
Remember going to nightclubs and staying late with friends? You’d excuse yourself to go to the washroom at some point in the evening. It was there that you got “A REALLY GOOD LOOK” at all the women who appeared under the evening lights as flawless and full of confidence. Oh yeah; they were light years away from au natural. Tipsy, scary, and digging hard into bottomless bags to find fancy products laced with promises. Magic tricks used to cover the spoils of sweat left over blush-on cheeks from close encounters with a date. Smudged, disintegrating and dissolving features are not a pretty sight under scrutiny.
I couldn’t even look at a coffee when I woke up at 11 a.m. today. I went right to work on the next idea I had to bring this Dark Caffe sight to my viewers attention. I would add it to my Blogroll! Yay! The sun finally came out today but I saw very little of it as I wrestled with the Dark Beans of Wrath. I linked Dark Caffe to my WordPress Blog and couldn’t get it to stop turning endlessly loading and that’s all. The browser apologized with a comment that in busy times of heavy use the link may not come up. It was then I broke down, put on the Alessi kettle with the little bird that fits in the spout and listened for it to whistle. I made my dark coffee without deviating from my routine and returned to the computer (tempted to hit quit) and moved on to the next blog renovation.
During my attempts to load a link I had accidently turned off the Preview I enjoy on my Blogroll. Cutting it short that was good for another two plus hours of anguish. Continuing under all circumstances as I have been known to preach I did eventually turn it on again and then took a few photographs of the late day sun from the glass solarium.
Glancing at my journal, waiting to hear from me as it rests peacefully without a search engine, I appreciate the moment when I sit down to make an entry. As I write the date I feel the opportunity the new date holds on one side of the scale right along with the finality resting on the other side of the scale. I make choices every day, and at a day’s end, I want to resolve any critical doubts and add up the benefits of new understanding gained through persevering.
BTW – I treated myself here and there with an online game and I can’t decide if my one out of three wins reduced my suffering or not. More later…