Journal Interrupted – Dejected X Rejected Artist

The ‘Morning Pages’ written at noon at Crema in Ambleside.

A bag of tea leaves is a bag of mystery, one of forecasts, promises, failures, and successes. Can women’s hair be “young hair”?  Do our strands get old as the years climb?  The bounce loses some of its spring.  Does it??   I wonder…

A white 9 x 12 plain envelope with my printing in purple ink on it drops through the mailbox late this morning.  The Cap_____ Review mentioned that it could be up to four months to receive a reply to poetry submissions.  “Oh”, I’m excited, “Maybe it’s a hit!”  I rip! Nothing!—inside but my original printed pages of poetry.  My five-page CV and zebra striped paper clip are gone.

No word—–nothing.  Is it a “no”?—or do they copy the originals and keep them on file for later?  What happened?

I read the poems over and feel like they’re dust; to be forgotten, filed, a rejection, a blank, an empty page, a frown, an “I don’t care”, and perplexed as I am I will continue—–probably publish them myself. How can I massage the planets to spotlight me and my work?

Hot and a little grey out.

The above is an excerpt taken from My Journal on August 17th, 2008.

Three days later:

I feel like one pigeon flying lost…like the world could crush me.  I feel like a flat balloon, a rubber leaf, a sorry-worry, one shoelace without the other, an ingrate, a mess, a re-try. And today as I write this post I see that’s a lot of feeling sorry for myself!

However, when things don’t turn out the way we expect them to, we often feel let down and insignificant.  Whenever we, as writers and artists in all mediums, create or perform we are taking risks.  We hope our viewers will accept our work by observing and taking the time to think about what is inherent in it. What is deep-rooted or possibly radical in it. What is essential to the work.  Why did the artist present it the way we see it and what made them choose the medium it’s been created in.

Visual Literacy begins with a viewer not marching into a gallery and letting fly with comments: “I like that”, “I don’t like that”, “That one’s good”…and you know the rest. We’ve all seen and heard these remarks made in error.  The beautiful thing about making art is that the person who does can never fail! Never!  Art is a process that comes from a need, from a universal consciousness and it may not fit a trend, or a time, or a subjective liking, but art in all its forms is Bona Fide and Precious.

We don’t always get approval, or applause, but I know for certain that if we persist, and keep putting it out there with love, the rejections dry up.  Keep working with serious intent and taking every opportunity to show your work.  Remember people are always interested in, “What’s New?”.

"Stay in Flight no Matter What!"

Copyright © 2010 Nicole Rigets

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