I Hold Zilli’s Tongue

It’s Friday night and I’m having my own party…a bag of organic chipotle flavored potato chips and a small dish of organic bread and butter pickles.  I see an ad I recorded in my journal that reads: “Baker kneaded”.

An email pops into view – a quote from Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, “Sit in reverie, and watch the changing color of the waves that break upon the idle seashore of the mind.”

The rare ‘Paper Nautilus’ is not fastened to its shell and can leave the shell and start another life.  This was mentioned in, ‘Gift From the Sea’ by Anne Morrow Lindbergh. What a remarkable thought!  Leave and start another life..

A friend calls from her Benz idling in front of the building, “Can she come up, or is it too late?” “No, it’s not too late,” I reply, “There’s still some chips left”.

“Sometimes I feel I have left the lives of others around me,” Zilli spouts as she walks in the door straight through to my spot on the chesterfield.  I graciously overlook the loss of my comfort zone and move my cup next to a chair but not before lifting the chips closer.

Zilli was right on the seat of the next thought and it was LONG…here’s how it went  as later recorded by ‘Moi’.

“I’m that rare or unusual one the others of my kind stand and blink at.  Something I don’t know about is being transmitted outward and creating a pause in the space to be filled between me and others.”

Before I could get clarification, I heard, “Too many faces in Whole Foods swarming between the products, the aisles, and one another.”

“Hmm…next…” Zilli’s ongoing, “Their expressions  move back and forth between them and across their faces and stab my vision with unpleasing impressions surrounding me as I make my way among them.  Each one works to extinguish my smile, my energy, my openness, with blaise oversight and self-importance.  They work all day on their appearance and they leave their smile on ice while leering daggarishly around themselves.”

“Drink Zilli?”  No can hear!!  Off she goes, “They’re either pausing to blow their own horn with an acquaintance, or I hear their cellphone conversations projecting loudly into the department around them, making them appear absurd!!”

While Zilli coughs on a pickle she scoffed, I reply, “So what you’re giving me is a warm-hearted critique of mall shoppers in a 40,000 square foot food store.”

TGIF to all!!!

I have Zilli for days and dreams by night, internal dialogue, white noise, din, construction racket, gardeners’ engine driven tools, garbage and recycling trucks, diesel-powered Handy Darts, the freight train, sirens, false alarms, the elevator shaft, the laundry machines, dogs barking, and I’m to clear my head and write something new every day.  I think I’ll write a dream recall instead:

I woke up to remember seeing a pigeon with a Keno entry form held along one side with its beak.  The form was white with red print, as they are, and the pigeon was warming up to fly off with it.  The heavy paper was flat and smooth as it protruded from the small dark beak.  The bird took a flight at a low, low, level across my vision and after a couple of trys it made a veer to the old stone stairs. There was a bright spot in the sky at the top and it was in that scene that I saw the pigeon successfully gain altitude and rise above the length of the staircase.  The bird now exhibited “smooth sailing” and the ability to fly upward while holding something heavy.  I discovered I was with someone and we had left a dark basement-like space to come outdoors and see the lesson nature offered. The other person was a slender young woman; she and I looked like two figures in a color comic strip where the background was a dim grey and I saw myself viewing us this way as I dreamt.  “The End”

There’s always worry in a day, only this time it’s not mine, it’s Noah’s:

Noah confesses he’s worried about the beavers on the ark.

Zilli left after the snacks ran out and I’m putting the kettle on…the evening’s just begun!

Copyright © 2010 Nicole Rigets